It's Not Easy To Be Me...
by Ady
Summary: Another songfic! This may be a newer song, but I'm not sure. Er...yeah, R&R if you want.


A/N: I LOVE this song, and the first time I heard it, I thought of Harry

A/N:I LOVE this song, and the first time I heard it, I thought of Harry.I modified it a bit so that it would fit Harry better, though.This could take place almost any 

year.The story part comes first, than the corresponding part of the song comes right after it.Er…if that makes sense.R&R, if you please.

Disclaimer:I own zip, zero, nada!Harry Potter, etc. belong to Ms. Joanne Rowling.The song…well, I'm not even sure what it's called.I just call it 'The 

Superman Song', though it's probably called 'Inside of Me' or something like that.If you know what it's called or who wrote it, I'd appreciate knowing.

Thanks. ^-^

"I know I'm going to make the quidditch team this year!" Ron cried happily as he and Harry made their way to platform 9 and ¾, "It'll be so cool, you and me on the team!"

"Mmm," Harry murmured, pensive, "I'm not really up for quidditch this year.I don't know.I just think there's something…better I could do."

"Better than quidditch?" Ron gaped, "You're talking crazy, Harry."

I can stand to fly, 

_I'm not that naïve._

_I'm just out to find_

_The better part of me._

"Is that?" Harry heard a first year whisper to someone near her.

"Yep, Harry Potter," the other person answered.

"Wow."

Harry stared at his feet as he headed for a compartment.

I've done more than live 

_I'm more than just fame_

_I'm more than some well-known face_

_Beside a train._

"Checkmate!" Ron smiled proudly.

"Not again," Hermione moaned, "You want to try and beat him, Harry?Fifteen straight losses are enough for me."

"No," he answered, smiling sadly, "You guys go on with it."

He turned back to the window, watching the raindrops race across the windowpane.Ron and Hermione looked at him concernedly for a moment, but quickly turned back to chess.Harry watched the trees fly by, thinking about what had happened to him over the years, and wondering what torture this year would bring.

And it's not easy 

_To be-e me._

Harry stared at the deep red canopy of his bed, unable to sleep.He could hear the other boys snoring and wanted nothing more than to join them.The beginning of the year feast had always made him sleepy before, yet this time was different.

Sighing, he reached into the drawer of his bedside table, pulling out a photo album.He opened it slowly, meeting the smiling images of his parents.Suddenly, he snapped it shut.His heart felt as though someone had just wrenched it out and his eyes began to water.Silently, he put the album back.Maybe he could look at it some other time; maybe when he wouldn't cry.

_I wish that I could cry,_

_Fall upon my knees;_

_Find a way to lie_

_'Bout a home I'll never see._

A few weeks had passed, and Harry's nights were just as sleepless.He felt as though he was dying inside, and no one could see, no one knew.Ron and Hermione had asked him a few times if anything was bothering him, but he couldn't tell them.They wouldn't understand; no one could understand.

_It may sound absurd,_

_But don't be naïve._

_Even heroes have_

_The right to bleed._

Harry woke up with a start.He'd seen them in his dreams again.Why did they keep coming, making his heart break?

He pulled on his bathrobe and headed for the dormitory door.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Ron said, popping his head through his bed curtains.

"Nothing," Harry said quietly, "I'm just going to sit in the common room a while."

Ron gave him a concerned and startled look.Harry said nothing more, just walked down the staircase.He knew what Ron was thinking, though.Even Harry wasn't sure what was going on in his own mind.

_I may be disturbed._

_Oh, won't you concede?_

_Even heroes have_

_The right to dream._

_And it's not easy_

_To be-e me._

"Pretend as if it's a game!" Angelina called to her team as they practiced, "Work your hearts out!"

Harry just couldn't seem to concentrate on searching for the snitch.Thoughts were wracking his brain constantly, leaving no room for quidditch.He carelessly swatted at some bug fluttering by his ear.It kept persisting, but he finally gave it a good smack and it didn't bother him anymore.

"Harry Potter!" Angelina yelled, flying quickly up to him, "What in the world do you think you're doing?!"

"Huh?"

"The snitch was practically in your ear, and you swatted it away!"

"That was the snitch?"

"Where is your head tonight?You better not act like that at the game or-"

"Sorry, Angelina.I've just had a couple of things on my mind.I promise I'll be focused during the game."

"You better!We can't slack off on the last game of the year!"

Angelina flew back down to the rest of the team and Harry gave his head a good shake, trying to actually spot the snitch before it decided to run into him again.

_Up again, away; away from me._

_Well, it's all right._

_You can all sleep sound tonight._

_I'm not crazy,_

_Or anything._

Harry walked out onto the field, the crowd cheering.This was the last game of the year; a night game, something Harry hadn't had before.It had gone by so fast.He looked up and saw Ron, Neville, and Hermione holding up a sign that said 'Go Harry!'Instead of making him smile, it actually disheartened Harry.Why not 'Go Gryffindors!'?They didn't always need to single him out.

_I can stand to fly,_

_I'm not that naïve._

_They want me to ride_

_With the greatest speed._

Harry rose above the game, searching half-heartedly for the snitch.Why was he even up here?Angrily, Harry shook his head.He'd promised Angelina that he'd keep his mind on the game, and that's what he was going to do.A glint of gold shown suddenly from somewhere near the Gryffindor goal.He put on a burst of speed, diving with all his might.The other seeker had no chance.Harry felt his hand close around the small golden ball and its tiny wings.The game was over

I'm only a boy 

_In a silly red sheet,_

_Lookin' for a speck of gold_

_On this one-way street._

The Gryffindors had won, and everyone was rejoicing.They congratulated Harry.He tried to smile, but his heart just didn't feel like celebrating.Why?He had every reason to celebrate.The crowd gradually headed for the castle.Harry was about to join them, but changed his mind.Instead, he started walking along the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

I'm only a boy 

_In a funny red sheet_

_Lookin' for special things_

_Inside of me._

The lake was ahead of him.The moon reflected off it, shimmering with its gentle waves.It looked like a dream.Harry headed for it.He had no place special to go, so why not to the lake.

I'm only a boy 

_In a funny red sheet._

_I'm only a boy_

_Lookin' for a dream._

The night was silent.His feet shuffled noiselessly on the damp, green grass.His quidditch robe swished gently with his steps.The boy who lived was alone with his thoughts.

I'm only a boy In a funny red sheet… 

Harry looked at his reflection, dim in the moonlight, and then turned up to the starry sky.He'd always loved the stars.And there was his, almost straight above him.It twinkled peacefully, resting between two larger, brighter stars.

As a child, he'd always dreamed that his parents were on those stars, watching over him, waiting for the day he'd join them.'Of course, children always think of such nonsense,' he reminded himself.

And it's not easy… 

Sighing, he turned back to the lake.His eyes grew wide with disbelief.There were two reflections in the lake.On looked like him, but older.The other was a pretty woman.Harry knew both well.He stared a moment.It couldn't be.Tears filled his eyes, and he tried to blink them away.Looking back down, he found his own reflection once more.Cautiously, Harry turned back to the three stars.They seemed to be twinkling brighter.

"Thanks, Mom and Dad," he whispered, smiling as tears came to his eyes.

"Hey, Harry!" Ron's voice called from a distance, "What are you doing out here?C'mon, Gryffindor's celebrating like no other!"

With a much happier sigh, Harry got up, heading for the castle.Maybe, just maybe, tonight he'd look at his album.

It's not easy… 

_To be…me…_

~*~*~

A/N:I hope you liked it.The time line wasn't too confusing, was it?You knew that the whole year passed by, didn't you?

Well, I'd enjoy reviews if you want to write one.Thanks!

-Ady


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